If Laloo became PM of India

Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes
to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif.They decide to meet without
aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes.

Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement.
"Nawazbhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif
comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims
on Kashmir, with no strings attached!

The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had
failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press
clamours.

"Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Akai company people)
says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video
khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone
free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: "aapko Kashmir
chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said
to Nawazbhai - "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free
with it!")

Laloo in Wonderland

Raabri was worried whether or not Laloo upon his death made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, Laloo's voice was heard answering, "Hello Raabri, this is meeee..."

"Lalooji," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Laloo answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected and above all there is no scam. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."

"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his Raabri cried.

"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Punjab."